EPISODE 024 | APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY

Today, we're exploring a topic that's close to the heart of every dreamer and doer out there: the balance between seeking support and fuelling your inner drive. It's about understanding when to share your dreams and when to guard them, how to embrace encouragement without losing your core motivation, and navigating all the external opinions we encounter and receive, whilst staying anchored in your own belief system.

The Double-Edged Sword of Sharing Your Goals

I would love to start by sharing a thought-provoking question I received in my DMs from one of our podcast listeners, Justine. She writes, "I listened to a podcast by Andrew Huberman, which said that people who share their intentions, like running a marathon or starting a business, and get praised for it, rarely follow through. This sent me into a tailspin. How do we balance seeking guidance, understanding ourselves, controlling our excitement, and managing overwhelm and negativity?"

Justine, your message really stood out, it got me thinking and I know how it will strike a chord with so many of us. It brings to light a fascinating paradox we often face as we are looking to establish and grow our businesses. The research you mentioned points towards a phenomenon where announcing your goals, especially in a setting where you're met with applause and encouragement, might actually diminish your likelihood of achieving them. To me, it's a concept that's both intriguing and I think it feels really confusing and perhaps a bit unsettling.

This paradox stems from a psychological effect where external validation, the applause, and the approval we receive when we share our dreams, can sometimes satisfy our need for recognition prematurely.

It's as if we've been rewarded before we have even taken those first steps, before we have even tried. I thought long and hard about it and my take, is that this can subtly, and often subconsciously, weaken the intrinsic motivation – that deep, internal drive that's essential for the long haul towards realising our dreams.

And here's where the concept of "goal dilution" comes into play.

But before we look at this in more detail, as there are easy ways we can combat this, without being fearful of sharing our dreams and goals with others, let's remember one really important thing: while this phenomenon is real, it's not an absolute.

The impact of sharing goals is nuanced and deeply personal. It's about finding the balance between harnessing support and nurturing your inner feeling of motivation and commitment.

The Power of Internal Drive

Let’s now look at one of the key cornerstones for every entrepreneur – the power of internal drive. This force, the one that comes from deep within, is what propels the most successful amongst us from vision to reality, often in the face of external doubt or even in the somewhat silence of working alone. It's that incredible feeling of motivation that says, "Keep going, you're onto something really special here.”

I remember only too well, in my early days of starting my business, and this was a time where I had literally no entrepreneurial experience, I didn’t have a mentor or anyone close to me who could advise and help, which I know so many of you can relate to, and I also faced a huge amount of scepticism. My husband and I had just had our first child, we had recently moved house, from out of London to the countryside, we were self renovating a huge project, a 1580’s cottage … and family and friends around me just couldn't understand why I’d leave my corporate role, which paid well and offered stability, which I was due to return to following my maternity leave and instead, pursue what seemed like a risky dream.

But, I had a very, very clear dream. After having our first child, I just couldn’t leave him and a return to the office, a 9-5 which although had its pluses, just wasn’t something that I could describe as being aligned with my skills and strengths, nor was it something I felt deeply passionate about, and the idea of returning to that setting and to leave my son each day, for me, was heart-breaking. And where I say 9 to 5, it of course wasn’t, it was far longer hours and would mean I would arrive home after our son was in bed. It was a very personal driving force. Financially I still needed to work, but I also very much wanted to. It was both driven from a need and a desire.

And this is one of the things I love about having my own business, our children have seen us grow it from the ground up, they have witnessed what it takes to achieve a successful business. They are very aware of the downs and the incredible ups, and my goodness, do they have phenomenal work ethics and inner drives as a result.

I think particularly for mothers, we often worry about how to balance childcare with our businesses, and there is never a true balance, but you will always make it work, and for those times when you do need to work hard, I promise you, your children will be hugely proud and feel a part of it, because they can see first hand what you are working towards and they feel part of the dream and vision too.

My internal drive, that deep-seated belief in my mission, kept me going, particularly in those earlier years, when external validation was very much scarce.

Today, my brand is not just a business; it's an incredible community of like-minded souls, all on a mission to build and grow businesses, that do good and are deeply aligned with our unique skills, strengths and passions. My and so many others’ story is a testament to the incredible power of an unwavering internal drive.

So, how do you tap into this force? How do you ensure your internal drive really helps to push you forward, even when external applause fades away? The first step is to identify what truly motivates you.

To uncover these, take time for introspection. Ask yourself what you would pursue even if nobody else understood or applauded it. What is the work that makes you forget to check the clock? And what are the reasons for you pursuing. Perhaps they are similar to mine, or perhaps they are different, whatever they are, they are meaningful and they are yours.

Once you've identified this intrinsic motivation, the next step is to nurture it. Align your daily actions with this deeper motivation. This could mean setting aside time each week to focus on the parts of your business cc  s that truly speak to your core mission, even if they don't offer immediate rewards.

I would love to share some practical tips to help you really clarify your motivations and reinforce your commitment to your goals:

1. Spend a few minutes each day visualising your success. Picture the impact of your work, the people it touches, and the fulfilment it brings. This practice keeps your internal drive alive and kicking.

2. Break your larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. Each time you complete a task, you're not just checking a box; you're reaffirming your commitment to your larger vision.

3. Regularly jot down why you started on this path. During moments of doubt or overwhelming external noise - and it’s so important that you are prepared for those, because they will absolutely happen - these notes can serve as powerful reminders of your core motivations.

4. Whilst it's crucial to limit the noise of unwarranted opinions, constructive feedback can be invaluable. Engage with mentors or peers who understand your vision and can offer insights that align with your internal drive.

It’s so important that whilst it always feels good when we receive external applause, it can most definitely be momentarily uplifting, it's the quiet, persistent voice of your internal drive that will ultimately be what guides you through the craziness of building a successful, purpose-driven business.

Next, we'll look at how to strategically build a supportive environment that amplifies this internal drive, without - and this is so important - overshadowing it.

Building a Supportive Environment Without Losing Focus

While we've discussed the potential pitfalls of seeking external validation, it's equally important to recognise the immense value of a supportive community. The right circle of support can be a catalyst for growth, offering not just encouragement but also valuable insights, resources, and even a shoulder to lean on during challenging times. It's about finding that healthy balance – a community that bolsters your journey without overshadowing your internal drive and motivation.

Choosing who to share your goals with is a strategic decision. It's like forming your personal board of advisors. These people should not only understand your vision but also respect your reasons and internal drive. They are the ones who provide constructive feedback, rooted in a genuine desire to see you succeed, not in their own perceptions of what success should look like for you.

When sharing your goals, aim for specificity and intentionality. Instead of broadcasting your dreams to anyone who will listen, selectively share with those who can offer specific insights or support for the challenges you're facing. This targeted approach ensures that the feedback and encouragement you receive are aligned with your vision and add real value to your journey.

In an ideal scenario, it would be someone who is also either looking to establish or scale their business, it doesn’t matter where they are on the journey, whether they have a few years more experience or a few less, what’s important is that you both recognise that drive in each other. Or perhaps it could be someone who just simply “gets you”, and you feel they have taken the time to understand what is right for you.

I remember so well feeling pretty alone in the early days. I was lucky though in that my husband was incredibly supportive and has always been my biggest cheerleader and sounding board, he was though in the early days working full time in a corporate setting, with a big commute, so he had his own focusses, there was definitely times when I felt very much alone, without a support network around me. And speaking to a friend recently, she started her business very, very much on her own and she definitely felt absolutely isolated. But as she persevered – she eventually found and drew in like minded people. People who resonated with her mission, her drive, and she felt stronger as a result. Interestingly, she said her drive didn’t increase, that was already very much there, but the general enjoyment increased, the simplicity of being able to share your story and dreams with those that just “get you”, and are genuinely supportive, that feels pretty good.

So if you're feeling alone, remind yourself that it's just a chapter, not the entire book of your life as an entrepreneur. As you grow and evolve, you'll make choices and find yourself in new spaces, both physically and virtually. Along the way, you'll begin to forge connections and find your people – those who understand your passion, your vision, and your drive.

And remember, it's not about when or how quickly this happens. It's about moving forward with the knowledge and belief that it will. In the meantime, know that I am here …

Now, let's look at some ways to help you balance the need for external support with staying true to your inner vision and motivation:

1. It's okay to be selective about what you share and with whom you share it. Establish boundaries that protect your internal motivation from being diluted by external noise.
   

2. Not all advice is created equal. Develop a filter based on your goals and values. This helps you discern which feedback to take on board and which to let pass by. Always smile and say thank you, regardless of the advice and whether you feel it is well intended, or not. And decide what’s important and what might simply be unnecessary drama and therefore best to move on from.
   

3. Build relationships where support is a two-way street. This ensures a healthy dynamic where your plans and ambition are respected and your challenges are understood, and you are in a position to help and support others in similar positions, wherever they are on their journey.
   

4. Take time to reflect on the impact your support system has on your motivation and progress. If you find certain interactions consistently drain your energy or cause you to doubt your path, it might be time to reassess those connections. We have all had those, we know exactly what that feels like, and we have a choice whether to indulge in them or to simply, politely and kindly to step away.
   

5. Sharing your victories with your support circle can reinforce your internal drive. Celebrate in a way that feels authentic to you and allows your supporters to be part of your journey without steering it. And even if it’s simply to yourself at this stage, still very much acknowledge them and smile!

By thoughtfully building and nurturing a supportive environment, whether one you plan for in the future, just with one other person or a fully-fledged support network of incredible entrepreneurs, you create a powerful synergy – one where external support and internal drive coexist and complement each other, propelling you toward your vision with clarity and purpose.

Practical Strategies to Manage Overwhelm and Maintain Self-Belief

It's so natural to encounter the huge feeling of overwhelm. I have touched on it before in previous podcasts and it’s something I’ll continue to look at and offer support on, as I know how many people feel this.

The feeling of overwhelm can easily cloud our vision, weigh down our steps, and, if left unchecked, can easily chip away at our self-belief.

Overwhelm often stems from the very nature of entrepreneurship – wearing multiple hats, a combination of the mundane roles that simply need to be done, alongside those that are more high stakes, and the ongoing need to find solutions to new situations. It's the feeling of an endless to-do list, the pressure of decision-making, and sometimes, that feeling of loneliness.

But fear not, and please, please listen carefully to this, the antidote to overwhelm lies within our own practices and mindsets. Let's look at some practical strategies to help manage your workload, maintain a positive mindset, and help bolster your resilience against the inevitable challenges.

•  Learn to say no to tasks or commitments that don't align with your core goals or values. It's not just about freeing up time; it's about making space for what truly matters.
  

• Dedicate specific blocks of time to different tasks or areas of your business. This not only ensures a balanced focus across your business but also helps prevent the blur between work and personal life, a common source of stress and overwhelm.
  

• Start your day with a routine that grounds you – be it meditation, journaling, or a walk. This sets a positive tone for the day and equips you to handle challenges with a clear mind.
  

• Take time to affirm your strengths and visualise your successes. This practice nurtures your self-belief and keeps your vision crystal clear, even on foggy days.
  

• Be mindful of your environment and the people you interact with. Surround yourself with positivity, be it uplifting books, podcasts, or people who inspire and support you.
  

• View challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. This mindset shift transforms obstacles into stepping stones, making the journey less daunting and more of an adventure.
  

• After a setback, take a moment to reflect constructively. Ask yourself what you learned, how you can adapt, and remember to acknowledge your effort and courage.

It’s important to know that overwhelm is not a sign of weakness, but a very, very natural part of being an entrepreneur, I can’t imagine any entrepreneur not feeling this at some point, and most likely often, particularly when we are tired and both at the beginning and end of huge projects. Overwhelm though will often be accompanied with strong feelings of passion and ambition.

As we come to the end of today's episode, let's quickly summarise what we spoke about. We looked at finding the balance between external validation and nurturing our internal drive, the latter ultimately being our entrepreneurial spirit. We looked at the paradox of sharing goals, the phenomenon of goal dilution, and how, at times, the applause and recognition can cloud our motivations.

We then looked at the strength of our incredible internal drive, the force that helps us move from vision to reality, and the importance of forming a supportive community that respects and bolsters our journey, without overshadowing our inner voice.

We discussed practical strategies to cut through the fog of overwhelm, to manage our time efficiently, maintain a positive mindset, and build resilience against all the inevitable challenges that we will face.

I would love you to take a quiet moment to reflect on your true motivations, the core of your drive. Have a think what you are looking for – is it nurturing your internal drive or is it diluting your true intentions? And as you think about these questions, remember, you're not alone. I’m very much here and would love to hear from you.

Share your thoughts, your stories, and your experiences. How do you balance the need for external validation with nurturing your internal drive? What strategies do you employ to manage overwhelm and keep your self-belief bright and strong? You can contact me via Instagram or email, news@philippacraddock.com.

Much love,
Philippa x